Journey Log [17.02.2010]: Feeeeeeeeeeeeeellllllllllllll

Through pages and lines of careful reading I believed I would find the secret of happiness: understand the laws of universe and acquire the knowledge to turns things right in my life... I got to a point that I felt I knew it all and that I was ready to lead my life according to my new principles... and thus all the suffering and confusion would be dissipated from my existence on earth (So much Ego on this..) But this was quite a mis-belief, when finally I understood that I knew nothing, because I did not feel deeply in my heart what those words meant. I wanted to believe, but I didn't.... For many times, I have used my intellect to avoid pain, but I ended up choosing to ignore the pain instead of dealing with it face-to-face. My mind and my heart were adrift and that could only guide me to unhappiness... My new step is to release my mind of too much thinking and reasoning and give space to my heart  to feel.. to feel deeply all the truths my mind already discovered, to make them my own truths, to stain them in my soul, so that all parts of Myself become one.. to reunite my existence with my essence... That is the path I dare to tread... that is the Love's Alchemy~~**