Journey's Log [25.02.2010]: HOME

 I have noticed that all my life I have felt misplaced, misunderstood, just like an orphan that does not know where he belongs to... When I was a child I felt I did not belong to Earth, eventhough I consciously did not know why... it was only this anxiety, this unease, the "Sehnsucht", the "Saudade" from HOME. Until now, I was so afraid of changes, of losing references, my roots... I wanted to feel part of this world, my mind wanted this so badly, but my heart was somewhere else, it belonged to the stars. I used to look to the sky and wonder why I felt compelled to lay on the ground, to eat flowers and magically found golden dust all around me.. I used to think that all I saw was result of my imagination, just like a miracle, a dream.... But this sense of un-belonging remained... this sadness within... like a little child feeling unprotected, that eagerly looked for a place to call home... All this sadness consumed me for many years, many years... Until I decided to step into this journey into innocence... But now, I know that this journey will take me to nowhere, but to the place I have always been, to the place I have always tried to escape from, the place I used to think it was my cage: to MYSELF, my innocence... I finally found HOME, although it is still uncomfortable to be there: It is like a marvelous palace left inhabited for aeons: so full of cobwebs, so cold, so dark, so mistreated... I know it is beautiful.. I still can see the golden dust lying all around me, like grains of miracles to happen.. I am about to open the shutters, one by one, and let the LIGHT come in, to let LOVE in and transform all this coldness, all this darkness in bliss, in sheer faith in MYSELF (my innocence...) To unlock all the doors and give freedom to my emotions, to this lonely child who was kept in forgetfulness...
Now, I can kiss the Earth and thank her for welcoming me... I belong here... Now,  I know it does not matter where I am, I will always be at HOME...
That is the Love´s Alchemy~~**

The Return To Innocence
"Return To Innocence"

That's not the beginning of the end
That's the return to yourself
The return to innocence
Love - Devotion
Feeling - Emotion
Love - Devotion
Feeling - Emotion
Don't be afraid to be weak
Don't be too proud to be strong
Just look into your heart my friend
That will be the return to yourself
The return to innocence
If you want, then start to laugh
If you must, then start to cry
Be yourself don't hide
Just believe in destiny
Don't care what people say
Just follow your own way
Don't give up and use the chance
To return to innocence
That's not the beginning of the end
That's the return to yourself
The return to innocence
Don't care what people say
Follow just your own way Follow just your own way
Don't give up, don't give up
To return, to return to innocence.
If you want then laugh
If you must then cry
Be yourself don't hide
Just believe in destiny.  (c) ENIGMA